It's been pure struggles - Part 2

Or "Why I haven't put out a dang video course yet... and why it ain't coming anytime soon."🙃

March 20th, 2023. 9:51 AM.

Simon sits at his desk, his right index-finger hovering over the mouse button. He shrugs and decides to click.

It’s done.

In a few moments, everyone on his email list will get the “It’s been pure Struggles” email. They’ll know his slightly embarrassing story: from when he quit his job at the end of 2021, to now with his decision to pivot away from writing a book and towards creating a video-course.

“What did I just do??”

Simon’s reverie is interrupted by a sudden, blinding flash of light. In front of him sits… another Simon.

ㅤ

Simon from March 2023:

Woah, what just happened? Who are you?

ㅤ

Simon from November 2023:

I’m you, but from 8 months in the future.

ㅤ

Simon from March 2023, looking both stunned and intrigued:

Actually? Are you here to tell me what’s going to happen?

ㅤ

Simon from November 2023:

Yep.

ㅤ

Simon from March 2023, looking expectantly:

Okay. So tell me… did I pull it off? Did I, you know, make good on my promise to release a video course? Do I have a ton of success stories?

ㅤ

Simon from November 2023’s smile turns into a light chuckle.

ㅤ

Simon from March 2023:

What is that? Is that a no?

ㅤ

Simon from November 2023:

It’s a no.

ㅤ

Simon from March 2023:

Dang. What went wrong? Is it the method or is it the delivery?

ㅤ

Simon from November 2023:

It’s both.

ㅤ

Simon from March 2023 in a high-pitched voice:

How is that possible? Like, I have it. You know that… the 8 core tenets of the method are super compelling. And the action-steps… they are clear and doable. Sure, I have a hard time with video, but I can improve right? I just gotta practice and get used to having a camera point at me.

ㅤ

Simon from November 2023:

Yeah well, you’re… well you’re wrong. Sorry.

ㅤ

Simon from March 2023, getting visibly frustrated

So what happened?—or are you here just to be a dick and poke fun at me; at us?

ㅤ

Simon from November 2023:

No no, calm down, I’ll tell you.

Sigh…

Turns out, producing a video course will become a giant, impossible endeavor for you.

You’ll first equivocate on whether to you should script it all out and deliver it with a teleprompter, or if you should just improvise. You’ll try both several times over, but it’ll never feel right. Your delivery is always either wooden and monotone, or else over-expressive and creepy. And you do this thing with your eyebrows. And you—

ㅤ

Simon from March 2023:

Okay, okay, I get it. I—we—just suck at being in front of a camera. I already knew that. I just thought with enough practice…

ㅤ

Simon from November 2023:

Sure, but eventually you’ll get impatient and you’ll decide you just need the method out there by any means. So, you’ll decide to offer the method through a live webinar program.

ㅤ

Simon from March 2023:

Did that work?

ㅤ

Simon from November 2023:

Sort of. I mean, we did manage to get a good amount of registrations. And everyone showed or they watched the recording… It’s just, well, it didn’t pop.

It didn’t have enough of an impact. You know, as far as I could tell.

ㅤ

Simon from March 2023:

They didn’t follow the instructions. I was afraid of that.

ㅤ

Simon from November 2023:

That’s right. I mean, I know they liked and appreciated the information… but, and there are a few exceptions, they didn’t really seem eager to incorporate the steps into their lives. Something was missing.

ㅤ

Simon from March 2023:

Yeah, but that’s on them. They signed up to learn a method—and we can all we can to make it super clear and actionable, but it’s on them to apply it. We can’t force them to comply.

ㅤ

Simon from November 2023:

I get that, but well, the whole experience made me realize something.

I think I’ve been going about this all wrong. You see, at the end of the day, The Habit Reframe Method is just another self-help product. One of countless others.

For 2 years, you’ve been obsessing over setting and refining the principals and steps of method. You’ve been obsessing about finding the perfect one-size-fits-all formula. But it just doesn't exist. There's way too much diversity in people's background, issues, triggers, and ambitions.

They don’t need more things to do. More instructions to follow. Promises to do and not do this and that.

No. What they need is an identity.

ㅤ

Simon from March 2023:

An identity? I don’t get it. Like what sort of identity?

ㅤ

Simon from November 2023:

Think about it. What, in the context of your own self-improvement journey, do you identify as? What identity has guided you the most?

ㅤ

Simon from March 2023:

I, uh…

ㅤ

Simon from November 2023:

You're a tech-addict right? Actually, you're a recovering tech-addict. And so where do you draw much of your inspiration from? Again, what identity do you take on from that inspiration?

ㅤ

Simon from March 2023:

Sobriety. I like to think of myself as sober; as tech sober. But, I mean, that’s just to me.

Sure, many people know that I draw much of my ideas from sobriety memoirs and from the alcohol sobriety community in general... but well, are you suggesting that the idea of becoming, like, “tech-sober” should be what I should focus on?

ㅤ

Simon from November 2023:

Yes. 100%. This is what your readers need. They need something to guide their decisions. They don't need super detailed steps that, at the end of the day, are just optimized for you and your very specific idiosyncrasies.

They need a guiding identity. And they need to feel connected with others in that identity. They need a community.

This just doesn’t exist for us struggling with procrastination and underachievement due to our tech vices. It exists for alcohol sobriety and it works wonders. People take on the sober identity and they wear it like a badge of honor.

And it works because becoming sober isn’t just about not drinking alcohol, maybe that’s it at first, but it goes way beyond that. Sober people find a path towards growth and self-actualization. Towards healing. Towards genuine peace of mind, happiness, and life-satisfaction.

It’s not that they “can’t” drink. It’s that, as sober people, they just “don’t” drink.

This is what you need to build for your readers. We need a sober identity, but for lower-tier kinds of addictions and bad habits… because, at the end of the day, whether you’re binge-drinking or doom-scrolling, the outcome is the same. It’s just an escape. It’s an escape from discomfort. An ineffective way to cope.

Being sober, from whatever vice, means you no longer do that. You confront and process discomfort. You deal with it, rather than using a substance or behavior to relieve it.

ㅤ

Simon from March 2023:

Righhhht.

Okay, so you’re suggesting a total rebrand then? Rather than selling like a self-help method, you’re what? Selling an identity?

ㅤ

Simon from November 2023:

Think of it more like a social movement. A new social collective. I want to create the tech-sober identity and get people on board. I know that’s what works—more so than any set of steps or self-help method.

ㅤ

Simon from March 2023:

So what’s the plan?

ㅤ

Simon from November 2023:

Well, I’ll start now with just letting my email list know my intention to pivot and then—

ㅤ

Suddenly, the room is lit with another flash of light. Appearing next to Simon from November 2023 is yet another Simon.

ㅤ

Simon from July 2024:

Ohhh yeahhh… I totally forgot I had my office up here.

ㅤ

To be continued…

ㅤ

---

So I shamelessly stole borrowed the idea of having my naïve and ill-informed past self talk to my current self from the actor Julie Nolke. Check out her sketches called “Explaining the Pandemic to my Past self” (safe link here—i.e. stripped of all YouTube watch-more links).

But for real, I’m thinking of pivoting my entire approach. The idea is to create a brand of sorts, maybe a “.org” organization; something to promote and spread what has actually has been working: the tech-sober identity.

What do you think about that? I’d love to hear your thoughts, questions, or concerns. Hit reply and let me know :)

Also, I’ve mulling over the name. For years now, I’ve been using the word “dober” for myself, which is short for digital-sober. But I don’t know if that’ll sounds right to others. Maybe, as a friend noted, it makes you think too much of a Dobermann.

One alternative is what I call “Tier-2 Sober”, or T2-Sober. See this diagram I made a while ago.

So to be “Tier-2” sober means you’re committed to abstaining/moderating Tier 2 vices. That has the advantage of not being limited to just tech stuff, but the disadvantage is that it needs to be explained.

I don’t know. I suck at these decisions. So here’s a poll. What say you?

Alright, that’s it for now. I have a fresh article in the works by the way, so you’ll probably get an update on this idea along with that.

Until then, be well,

Simon ㋛